It’s become clear to me that although I’m loving writing this new blog, it’s going to force me to perform the unthinkable act of carrying a purse.  I’ve spent my entire adult life dodging that reality because I don’t want to have to deal with the stupid thing every time I leave the house, clinging to me wherever I go like a baby monkey.  I far prefer to be hands-free, pockets bulging, keys digging into my leg.  Plus that werd.  Purse.  Ew.

But a blog requires that I carry a camera which is one piece of equipment over the line and we have no vacancies left in any of my outfits, so unless I start wearing a bigger bra, I’m going to be pursing it.

I’m telling you this fascinating piece of news because soon there will pictures and videos galore on here and it’ll all be thanks to the P word.  And I must say, I wish that I’d had my camera yesterday morning as I drove off in my car (a purse with wheels) because I got up early and joined the virulent ranks of Saturday morning yard sale goers in a quest to find a new bike.  And a purse.

I pulled up, five minutes before 8am, to a crowd attempting to push their way through some poor guy’s front gate as he yelled at them that it wasn’t eight yet and to back the hell off.  I used to be in a punk band that played for the kind of people who’d rush the stage wielding chairs over their heads with intent to beat us with them because a.) they were drunk b.) my band was really bad c.) they paid to get in, and I’d take a long evening of fending them off over an impatient garage sale crowd anyday.

Cranky, entitled senior citizens, middle aged ladies with computer print outs of every yard sale within forty miles, neighbors attempting to wink and smile their way into getting first dibs on your tired DVD collection and worn out frying pan…all showing up well before the scheduled start time, duking it out on your front lawn very early in the morning for crap you’d happily leave in the alley.  What IS that? Weren’t we at the top of the foodchain once?

Anyway, I’m pleased to report I found a bike and an ugly brown sweater, but shockingly, no purse.  I’ve decided to do my purse shopping online.

Advertisement